


A Life Without You

by lumienarc



Series: Worlds Apart [1]
Category: 2PM (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Drama & Romance, F/M, M/M, Parallel Universes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 08:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7836997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumienarc/pseuds/lumienarc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One morning, Taecyeon wakes up in a strange world, in which he was never a member of 2PM—more like, there was never made in this world a boy-group named 2PM. More importantly, in this world, he and Nichkhun never met each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Life Without You

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be one hell of an angst fic. I cried while writing, but I hope you don't as you read. It was stupid really. Haha. I'm sorry. I finished this in three hours in the middle of the night as soon as the plot-bunnies attacked, so... forgive me.

Quiet night, somewhere in Seoul. Bursting energy of the city was far below, unheard and none of his concern right now. The room was dark. He preferred it that way when he was on the phone with his most precious friend in the whole world. He put him on speaker. Despite he wanted to see him, doing video-call, the other rejected it. His reason was that he longed to focus on his voice, it felt amazingly intimate and Ok Taecyeon could not begin to disagree because it was true. This conversation, however, had been going on for at least thirteen minutes. Now Taecyeon was lying on his couch, head rested on the arm so he could still see Seoul’s dark sky from there. The phone safely put on his chest.

“Hey, are you free this Thursday?” Nichkhun asked.

“ _Eung_ , I purposely emptied my schedule for that day.”

“Did you read my mind or what?” Taecyeon heard Nichkhun scoffed. He laughed.

“Haha, I just felt that you might want to hang out this Thursday.”

“You are amazing, Taec,” said the one on the other side, sounding honestly astounded. Taec chortled, but his answer was unexpectedly reasonable.

“We spend a lot of time together, Khun. It is bound to happen.”

Nichkhun laughed like there was no tomorrow, inciting Taec’s laughter to follow although it was not _that_ funny. Then, finally Nichkhun caught his breath and calmly spoke:

“I’m glad you were not taken by someone else.”

Taecyeon reacted quite harshly:

“Do I have to answer that with something harsh now?”

“Don’t!” Nichkhun cried. He sounded as if it was a death sentence. “You bad person, don’t you dare mentioning that! You’re not Minjun!”

The merciless teasing was commenced during the promotion for their album, “No. 5”. They had laughed it off since it was on screen, but Nichkhun confessed to Taec later that he actually wasn’t sure whether that time he was _really_ still longing for Fany or he was just _pining_ for Taec with whom he had relationship long before.

“Hahaha, but I’m really happy right now,” tenderly Taecyeon admitted. “I thought it was all over for us.”

Sighing, Nichkhun coincided, “I thought it really was. In the end, it has to be you. I’m still feeling guilty from what I said that night. I should have never said that. I was stupid.”

“It wasn’t entirely your fault, Khun,” Taecyeon rejected. “It was partially mine, too.”

“You always said things like that, Taec,” his boyfriend scolded heatedly. “You don’t know how mean it actually is!”

“Really?” It truly surprised Taecyeon.

“It just makes the other party guiltier than before,” explained Nichkhun.

“I don’t mean to make it so.”

“I believe you.”

There was a momentary silence that followed. It was normal. Taecyeon waited for a moment before he broke through the silence.

“So, this Thursday, where are we going?”

“Let’s go to Shiga,” readily Khun answered.

“Why suddenly?”

“I want to see Lake Biwa.”

“ _Biwako_ , hmm? We’ve never been there before.”

“Exactly.”

“Okay, I’ll leave right after my filming ends.”

“I’ll leave on Wednesday.”

Both of them found it effortless to decide. They hardly met each other these days. Taecyeon was busy with his filming. Nichkhun was… well, as usual, he was given some reality-show appearances. He and Wooyoung often did a couple appearances together—because they did not have dramas or solo activities of course. Nichkhun said he had heard some fans labelled the activity with something like, “Nichkhun and his son do reality-show together”, while other part of fans would squeal about them being a couple. Nichkhun didn’t mind either perspective. Taecyeon was immensely entertained by the former since he enjoyed the prospects of nurturing his younger members like his sons—Nichkhun scolded him for being somewhat overbearing dad figure.

“Can you book a room for me, then?” Taecyeon asked. It was easier that way since Nichkhun would be on the site long before he would be.

“Too bad I booked my room already,” flatly replied Nichkhun. “Just one good room available at Prince Hotel for the time.”

“How cold!”

“The room is a double room…” Nichkhun added quietly. It almost sounded like he was embarrassed to say it. Taecyeon smiled.

“Oh… we’re sharing a room? No twins?”

They actually seldom shared a room, hardly ever roommates, specifically after they started dating. They agreed it was too dangerous. If fate had it, they preferred to have twin beds. This must be some sort of development, knowing Khun was quite bashful about this sort of arrangement.

“I wouldn’t ask you if I wanted to sleep on my own, you damn troll!” Nichkhun yelled. Taecyeon imagined he was bright red there. He wished he could see his face right now. This was one of the reasons why Nichkhun refused to do video-call.

“I see, I see! Haha, I was just teasing you. Okay, it’s settled then. You told them it’s for two persons, right? It would be bad if I couldn’t have breakfast.”

“Are you Hwang Chansung now?”

“I’m a human being, Khun. I need food to survive.”

“Taec…” Nichkhun’s tone reminded Taecyeon of an annoyed wife.

“I know, but it’s normal for me to ask, right?”

“Yeah,” eventually Khun admitted defeat and replied honestly. “Don’t worry about it, really. Don’t you trust me? The reservation doesn’t include breakfast anyway. We can always order room service for breakfast.”

“Oh, is that so?”

“Shut up!”

Taecyeon’s respond was a husky laugh. It was nice to tease Khun, really. They stayed quiet again for about half a minute.

“Hey, Khun.”

“Hm?”

“You remember our conversation about parallel universe?”

“Yeah, why?”

“What if I woke up tomorrow in one of the parallel universes and in that world we never met? In addition, I couldn’t find a way back here. What would you do?”

“Stop fantasizing about something scary, Taec!” Nichkhun’s voice cracked as he hollered through the speaker. Taecyeon immediately felt guilty for bringing up the topic. Nichkhun lowered his voice, saying, “What can we do without you here? Our band would break. I would break.” The room was cold, so was Khun’s next word: “ _Broken_.”

“What’s with the melancholic voice, Khun? I was joking!” Taecyeon desperately tried to lift the mood. “Even though it might be true, the experience would be like one in a billion, right? The chance would very small—don’t worry about it. I’m sorry. It would trouble me as much as it would for you.”

“Then, don’t say such things ever again, deal?”

Nichkhun sounded like he was holding back his tears. The Thai Prince was very sensitive, anyway. He might be good at smiling, but he always showed his emotions clearly without saying a word, unlike Taecyeon who just said anything he felt frankly.

“Deal,” Taecyeon agreed in a heartbeat.

“Ah, I didn’t know it has been past midnight!” Nichkhun suddenly pointed out. Taecyeon lifted his phone from his chest, checking the clock at the upper right corner of screen. It showed that it was 01:03 A.M.

“Oh! You’re right. I’ll be scolded in the morning.”

He had to go to filming location first thing in the morning.

“Me, too. Let’s go to bed.”

Taecyeon rose. He walked toward his bedroom and carelessly threw his body to the bed, letting Khun hear the springs bounce and cover rustle. He knew the other did just the same over there.

“Good night, Khun.”

“Good night, Taec.”

“…I love you, Khun.”

He purposely waited for a couple of seconds before saying that, solely for dramatic effect. Khun was startled, caught off guard.

“Wha—ah, you…”—he laughed sheepishly—“I love you, Taec.”

They went to sleep with smile on their faces. It was a good night, but they both believed there would be a better night in a few days.

*****

“Wake up! Wake up, Ok Taecyeon! You’re going to be late!”

Taecyeon sluggishly sat up, forcing his body to leave the comfortable slumber. He heard a woman nag endlessly from somewhere nearby. This voice sounded like his sister, Jihyen. He did not remember housing his sister in his house yesterday. Did she come barging when he was sleeping? But no one could possibly do that, especially knowing his sister. She would notify him months before and then she would announce her arrival like a royalty.

“ _Noona_ , why are you so loud first thing in the morning?”

“Because you’re going to be late! Your flight is in two hours. You have to wash up and get ready _pronto_!”

Taecyeon blinked away his sleepiness. What was his sister talking about? He did have a schedule somewhere away from here, but he was going there by car. He dragged himself out of bed anyway. He wondered where his manager and assistants were. They usually appeared hours before they had to go.

“Are you sure you don’t want to bring more empty scrolls?”

“Huh?” Taecyeon hummed as he brushed his teeth.

“You always run out of them!”

“What are you talking about, _Noona_?”

“Scrolls! Don’t give me that! I know you’re going to Kyoto, there are ample of supply stores there, but it would be better for you to be more efficient.”

Taecyeon approached his sister, who was packing various equipments into a bag. There were indeed scrolls among those. Everything was neatly arranged. Jihyen did it automatically as if she had been doing this for her whole life. It was not right; his sister was not his assistant.

“I know you are an aspiring calligrapher, Taecyeon- _ah_ , and you like to do things your way, but you should really try to be gentler with people. Maybe someday, you will have an assistant that lasts longer than a couple of months,” Jihyen said, concerned. She put pads on smaller items to prevent them from being tossed around when brought.

“I don’t understand,” Taecyeon murmured.

“Of course you don’t,” the sister sighed. “ _Eomma_ prepared you some _kimchi_ pancakes for in-flight snack. Get dressed. I’ll wait for you in the car.”

*****

All he could do was going with the flow. He was confused. His phone wasn’t the phone he owned. The model was different. The contacts inside were different. He did not have Jinyoung- _hyung_ ’s number. He did not have any 2PM members’ number. No idols, just some famous people. For some reasons, he had some famous emcees’ numbers, but the rest of them he could not recognize.

He opened his event planner. He noted that this date he had to attend a two-day Japanese calligraphy exhibition and workshop. Everything planned for him related to calligraphy and history. He found his curriculum vitae, too. It appeared that he was studying calligraphy as well as history. He had teaching positions before, but now he was pursuing a historian career along with a Ph.D. for it. He did not understand. He was exactly like himself yesterday (even his body was as big as he remembered, did he work out hard too in this world despite being a calligrapher and historian?), but his life scenario was all wrong. When he searched about himself, he found that he had appeared at several TV shows. He had been an internet sensation for being “the hottest calligrapher and high school history teacher ever”. He also had a number of prizes for his calligraphy. His papers on history of calligraphy received decent appraisals as well. It seemed that he was quite famous in a way. But did all of those even matter when he knew Nichkhun Buck Horvejkul was not a part of his life.

“We never met,” murmured Taecyeon, recalling his conversation with Nichkhun just hours ago, that now felt like eons ago.

No one knew him in this world like the way people recognized him in his world. He had browsed about 2PM. The group never existed. “Hot Blood” was never made. Jay Park was always a hip-hop guy, never a leader of an idol group. He never got scandals, too. Minjun was still Minjun, but he was a soloist. He and Junho were writers and producers at JYP, not much had changed for them. Chansung was a model and an actor, also at JYP.  Wooyoung was mysteriously nowhere to be found—the only information Taec could find about him that he had won some dancing competitions in the past, the latest one was dated 2008. Then, there were two missing members; the last and most important one thankfully had not completely vanished.

Nichkhun was now a pianist. He was popular, but for a certain circle only. It was weird knowing how Khun was interested in various things and liked to broaden his skills in pretty much everything. How was it possible for him to stick only to piano? His big brother, however, was a famous model and actor in Thailand. It was strange. Pianists were so much difficult to track down. Taecyeon’s heart pang when he saw Nichkhun sit in front of a glossy, flawless grand piano in a snapshot of his Valentine’s Day concert.

“Is there a way to get back?”

*****

Taecyeon felt confused. It was good for him since he only had to sightsee at the exhibition. There was no big responsibility bestowed on him. He was just needed to be present and occasionally giving out comments. He had spent one day reading all things about calligraphy and burning his heart out to understand the art. It did not matter what he did, he was still Ok Taecyeon. When he decided to do something, he would give his best. He managed to go through the event safely.

“I don’t know anything about calligraphy, though,” someone said, laughing shyly.

“It’s okay, Nichkhun- _san_ , you can always admire without knowing anything,” a woman replied.

Taecyeon turned his head quickly. His ears could not be wrong. It was Nichkhun’s name that was mentioned just now. The correct Thai pronunciation of Nichkhun instead of the popular Nichkhun rooted from JYP’s staff’s misunderstanding. His eyes instantly found a familiar figure standing a few meters away, looking at the calligraphy submitted by Kanzaki, a young calligrapher. There was a middle-aged Japanese woman accompanying him.

It could not be wrong. The thick eyebrows, full cheeks, bright round eyes, and _that_ sweet smile. He was smaller than he should be, but it was bound to happen when he wasn’t a beast idol—you wouldn’t build muscles as much as gym-freaks raised by JYP aka The Asiansoul. Taecyeon wanted to run and hug him. His body screamed for it. His heart beat faster than The Flash ran. Yet, his head commanded him to look away, it might hurt so much, but there was nothing he could do.

“Are you finally getting married?” the woman asked Nichkhun as they walked past Taecyeon’s back.

“No, my girlfriend said she isn’t ready. I don’t mind waiting. It is a huge step for a woman, the most important one.”

“Your girlfriend is working, isn’t she?”

“Yes, she is.”

They casually chatted in Japanese. The Nichkhun he knew wasn’t this skilled at Japanese, but this Nichkhun spent a couple of years studying music in Japan and never South Korea. Taecyeon’s heart sank slowly to know Nichkhun was still Nichkhun in this world: sweet and polite, very princely. And still dated a woman.

Ok Taecyeon left Kyoto after the exhibition. It was Thursday, the day he was supposed to spend the day with Khun. He went to Otsu, Shiga. He sat at the lake shore, within the area of Nagisa Dori, a park nearest to the port. The Michigan had sailed for her morning cruise. It would be nice if Taecyeon could join that cruise with Nichkhun. It would be a perfect idea to start their day together.

“Khunnie must have thought of it—maybe even reserved it already. He planned a lot for this trip,” Taecyeon muttered to himself. He must look quite pathetic now. His sister had called him numerous times since last night, but he didn’t answer or call her back. If he must stay in this world, he would love to have a moment of peace without anyone interfering.

He finally gave up on sitting idly on slightly grassy stone path. He got to his feet and left the spot. The place wasn’t as busy as one expected. It was quite deserted, perhaps because it wasn’t a holiday season. He decided, after another hour of walk, to come back to Kyoto and take the next flight back to Seoul from Japan International Airport. He saw Nichkhun walked to his direction, alone this time. How beautiful he was, no matter what occupation he had. Taecyeon averted his eyes.

“Oh!”

The small exclamation came from Nichkhun’s mouth. He stumbled on a stone at the path and almost fell over if Taecyeon’s reflexes didn’t react on time to catch him. Out of habit, Taecyeon commented in English: “Watch your steps when you walk, Khun.”

His face instantly reddened as he gently let the man go. He intended to escape with his long legs, but Nichkhun grabbed his arm, effectively stopping him.

“Do we know each other?”

Those round, brown eyes looked up to him. Eyes that were filled by surprise and, strangely, _hope_. It pained Taecyeon’s heart to look straight into them. It felt awfully familiar. Taecyeon was the last person one expected to perfectly suppress his expression while being emotional. Without a mirror, Taecyeon knew his eyes showed his pain and languish. He smiled, with an effort greater than anything he ever gave, and replied:

“No, we don’t.”

“But you just know my name,” Nichkhun pointed out meekly.

“I’m your fan.”

“No fan calls me Khun. Only my family and friends call me Khun.”

“I’m sorry,” Taecyeon said, his tone hinted that this conversation was over.

“What is your name?” Nichkhun asked as he let go of Taec’s arm. It lingered longer than it should. The retracting was slow and unwilling, as if he did not want to let it go. Taecyeon wished he would never.

“Ok Taecyeon. My friends call me Taec.”

The smile was as heavy as lead, but he was trained to smile regardless his feelings—it was a part of his job description in the other world. Taec slowly backed away, implying that he would leave soon. Nichkhun did not return his smile. He looked baffled, confused, and lost once he heard Taec’s reply.

“I have a feeling that we had met before, but I can’t remember.”

“Because we never did,”—the words came out easily—“Goodbye, Nichkhun. It was nice to meet you.”

Out of habit, too, he had called the man with the wrong pronunciation. The man called out to him, but Taecyeon steeled his heart and just kept walking, never turning back. Tears rolled down his cheeks. It would be nice if they were at least still friends in this world. It would be nice if Taecyeon didn’t have his memories from the other world.

He wanted to go back and tell Khun that they should be friends, but he could not. If he did, he would want more, he would grow greedy. Taecyeon believed that it was best for them to stay like this in this world. Total strangers. Each would have a normal life, what else could one desire?

“ _It does not matter_ ,” he comforted himself inwardly, “ _We’re not meant to be together. Not beyond friends_.”

“Khun- _ah_ ,” Taecyeon uttered to cloudy sky above as tears clouded his eyes, “I will miss you every day, but I will survive. I will, you know I will.”


End file.
